What I will never be

I decided today that I will never be anyone's version of what I "should be". I'm never going to be as thin as is acceptable. I don't want to be if that means I have to be hungry all the time. Don't try to tell me you aren't unless you are one of those born skinny people like my best friend and her sisters. (Who I dearly love) I don't want a life without lemon pie, chocolate, pasta, bread, bacon, sausage and other things that people forbid themselves to eat in order to be skinny.

I'm not a pig, I don't eat those things daily (ok, maybe the bread) but I do love them and am not willing to give them up. I do want to be healthier than I am but I'm not going to try to be someone else's version of perfect.

I'm bigger than is healthy and I know this. I know I need to lose weight and stop stress eating, which is one reason I started this blog. I need to vent my feeling and yell about how much something hurts or how much I hate being fat today.

However, I believe that God created us with tastes buds and a love for food because He loves us and intended eating to be pleasurable. I don't want to go through life simply enjoying bread by smell (I saw a news story once about a guy who lost tons of weight and only smells bread) or in dreams like Kiki in America's Sweethearts.  Seriously underrated movie by the way. I need and want to find a happy medium and happily fit into a medium, or large.

I was not born to be a size 2, neither was I born to be the size 22-24 that I am now. Give me a 12-14 and I'll be ecstatic. Heck I'd be over the moon about a 16-18 right now.